They asked the simplest questions and alot of prize hungry people queued to try and answer. When I couldnt take the frustration anymore, I just got up and earned me a gift pack that I didnt really want.( Im too sexy for my shoes.......too sexy for....) Dont purge yet!

Anyway, the dynamite in a small package finally left the house to everyones joy. They should have labelled him the midget with a complex instead.

I have no kind words for people at the office today because the canteen has delayed my katogo and Im hungry and pissed.

A friend of mine just went from being a battered galfriend to a battered fiancee. About a month ago her boyfriend beat her up, Last week, he showed up with an engagement ring looking apologetic. When I saw her she was in defiant mode, couldnt say anything to her that she didnt know already. I feel so powerless right now.

The option of keeping my money under my pillow has never been more tempting than today when I stood for hours in the bank queue. I went with my mum coz we decided to open a joint account to sort out our emergencies. Anyway, my old lady needed a sit so I jumped the queue and asked a few kind people to let her sit on the bench before our turn. I promised not to cheat anybody in the queue so they were more than glad to let her sit.

So as the line moved, she sat back and allowed everyone who came before us to get served. This idiot at the back of the queue didnt know what had transpired before he got there and thought mum was just letting people join the queue before her.

The Dwansy: Madam If you dont want to go then get out of the line, we dont have time for this.

Daughter to the rescue: Excuse me, thats my mother you are talking to so have a little respect.

Dwansy: eh, who doesnt have a mother?

Daughter to the rescue: Well Im not disrespecting yours, so be careful or I will kick your ass!

Dwansy: You think you can beat me , you?

Daughter to the rescue: I will hire someone to do it for me.

Embarassed that everybody else in the queue didnt seem to side with him, he decided to shut up. Just then a friend of mine from school who happens to work at this particular bank swung by and we got reacquainted. My process was sped up and I was glad to get out of the bloody queue.

My mum had never seen me in fight mode like that before, except with her of course ( blame it on puberty).

So if mess with my mum, Im gonna be the one to break it to ya!

I remember visiting Sundays in Boarding school, plenty of excitement, food and family of course. Our much older and younger siblings running around the compound carrying all that stuff. Well Im the last kid in my family so I didnt have little sisters or brothers for people to gush over. My friends had the most adorable little brothers and we liked pinching their bu cheeks and all that baby talk that prolly annoyed them. They were soooo cute and chubby.

Anyway that was then. Now they are all grown up and when you come awfully close to making out with them in the club, you have to constantly remind yourself that he is your best buds kid bro. Trouble is I think they also like the kink of the older sisters buddy. And believe me some of them are so darn irresistable.

In high school, I was a minister in the school cabinet. Actually I was the magistrate, Duksey Im sure you remember. And the rest of the student addressed me as Honourable ( wierd huh!) and I was revered because I was a tyrant. So I run into this guy who recognised me from high school because several years later, he is still calling me Honourable. So he stopped me and asked if I remembered him and I honestly couldnt recall. Apparently he was two classes behind me and that I was such a great inspiration to him, so he too became magistrate two years after I left the school. So we decided to catch up on high school memories, and the whole time he still kept refering to me as Honourable. He now plays Rugby for my favourite team, about 5'9, and kinda funny. The whole time I was talking to him, I was just picturing him in a different setting whispering "Honourable" in my ear. It was such a turn on. We had a couple of drinks and a friend of mine came to pick me up soon after. He was so saved by the bell he didnt even know it.

I know age dont really matter anymore, but Is it okay to hook up with your friends kid brother and say I want you to be the "Ashton to My Demi"??? (That was soo lame I know)

Im hooked to DSTVs channel 37 lately and Im not apologising for my wack taste in entertainment. So yes I have been watching Big Brother and all the other shows people hate like "Beauty and the Geek". Jack Bauer just doent jazz me, so Im not even going to pretend. I like shallow TV, the likes of E. Before you judge me too harshly, I have also repetitively watched all the shows on the History channel and Discovery. Like Tandra said, Im just a contradiction.

Anyway back to Big Bro, there is this gal Meryl from Namibia that people already love to hate. She is waltzing around in her underwear in the living room and you can imagine the reaction of the housemates and the viewers. and then there is the south african gal Lerato who is a spontaneous and hopeless flirt, Them Bertha from Zim who is soft spoken, intelligent and interesting too.

So these are 3 different kinds of sexy. The argument I had with my sister surrounding this was she didnt like Meryl very much because she was so obvious and apparently guys dont like that. But in all her obviousness, she gannered attention from the guys because there are guys out there who are not mind readers, they simply dont have the time or patience to decipher the "she likes me, she likes me nots". So gals like Meryl appeal to them because they make it easy, that doesnt make her a cheap w**** now does it???

As opposed to gals like Bertha who seem unattainable. Well granted they love the chase and the challenge of such conquests sometimes its not what its cranked up to be. I like gals like Lerato who strike the balance properly, not too obvious yet not to unattainable. In otherwords if I were a guy, I would date me. (hehehe)

Then the Ugandan gal broke down yesterday and downright lost it. Some teacher of hers in Primary school touched her inappropriately. Gave her low marks just so he could have quality time with her. sad really, but how could she reveal all that on day 3 of the show. Anyway I guess sometimes talking to strangers is better. But they need to get her a shrink. It made for good viewing last night.

plus

My 5 year old power rangers obsessed nephew woke me uo this morning to tape some paper contraption to his hand. I was trying to squeeze in a few last minutes of sleep to I mumbled something to the effect of, "will do it when I wake up". Then he goes on to say, "but you are already awake". I didnt Burge so he threw a tantrum and yelled...."you know what I have realised A, that you cannot help anybody ever, Now my day is ruined!" Then he decided mbu he is going to meditate and I thought good idea. Its no wonder people dont believe he is only 5, meditate my a**! Then he goes to his camping tent that we pitched in the empty living room and found that my diaper-free niece had peed all over his comic. His day was now ruined for sure.

Let me set about blog hoping. I hope someone is out there fanning the feud, its better than Diamonds Ensemble.

On Saturday I went to this orphanage in Mutundwe called Dwelling Places and there I met Hamza. Hamza is a 5 year old retarded boy with he oldest and most cliche story of the vile stepmother and dad who couldnt careless. And the trauma he went through you wouldnt even believe and its no suprise that he lost his mind so early. And as I looked at him ranting violently at the other children, I felt sad that he never even had a chance. And these are moments when my mortal heart questions my faith.