On Saturday we drove to Kiboga just before Hoima with My friend Rowena to visit a tree plantation.No, I do not work for NEMA and neither does she. This is a forest reserve of about 12 hectares run by the Global Woods project in South America.Mbu everyone is cashing in on carbon trading these days so being the brilliant investors that we are, we dont want to miss out.Ok dont bother because forestry is obviously a very patient business, definately No get rich scheme. So if u have 40 years to wait out, then by all means.

I conquered my fear of heights and climbed a really high water tower(I think I am now ready to go bunji jumping).

Apparently a tree that grows tall and lanky without buffing up is called a foxtail. Kinda like Rev would be considered a foxtail. haaarrnk! (Damn you Baz)
Anyway there is only so much one can write about trees.....

On my way back I get this sms from my house mate, saying

"free beers in Kabalagala, get here now".

Who can resist free beers so I carry my tired-forest-hiking-ass to Kabalagala purely out of curiosity. Ok you got me it was the free beers. Turns out there is a kafunda dominated by Acholis in the heart of this red light district. So I was totally in the Zone, speaking the language like I never left Amuru district. Then they had to play "Anjolina" and all those DJ languna jams and all my reservations about being seen in this joint just faded.

After a few beers, I dared to ask what we were celebrating. Turns out one of the chicks has a muzungu boyfriend who had just given her a major windfall. She was 30million shs richer and needed every excuse to celebrate.

Maybe I should consider a career change. Women in Kabalagala were definately minting the cash.I suspect highly that most of the gals I was partying with that day are prostitutes but that day, they were off duty and genuinely happy for their friend. And I really did enjoy their company as most of them really had some great stories to tell.

Its common knowledge and totally goes without saying that when you find your best mates man cheating on her its a bad idea to tell her. Or so people say, but somehow I always thought my friends were different and this didnt apply to them. I figured I would like to know and so would they and boy was I wrong.

So friday night, this is me calling up mate

"hey Whats up, Larry the guy u have a crush on is here visiting from the States and Im meeting him today. Im sure you dont want to miss out on that eye candy. why dont you come along?"

BFF (in words of Tandra) says

I laughed and said,

I knew this for a fact because I know alot of gay people in this town who can testify to that.But BFF didnt believe he was gay and in her desperate mind, he was a spouse candidate. So sensing her rage at my claims, I let this go.

Later that night, high on nothing but life itself, I bump into "new beau" on the dance floor.He looked shaken when he saw me, but I was going over to say hey to the guy he was dancing with. A guy I had met at a certain "will and Grace" themed party. No stars for guessing his orientation there.So I asked,

New beau: Oh, that was earlier.

He was rather uncomfortable and a few minutes later they snuck out of the pub.So the next day I notice BFF is online and left a message which she didnt reply immediately. I asked her to get back at me coz I wanted to talk. I came back later to find offlines from Hell.

I was indeed going to tell her what went down that night but totally put off, I told her I couldnt care less what her and her gay beau where up to. She then apologised for being presumptuos and I chickened out of telling her.I know she will get her heart broken but this is a lesson she sadly has to learn on her own in the meantime I will just be minding my own business.

Meanwhile

That night on my way home, I realized my bundle of keys was missing. That means, my gate keys, house keys, office keys, post and every single thing I had a key for were missing. I figured I must have left them at the pub which was closed by that time. So the next morning I went to the pub to retrieve my keys and the bar man laughed and asked,

"where did u sleep last night?"

Dude you have no idea I thought to myself.